Harder and harder.

It really is getting harder and harder to life at home, day by day. More and more puts me on edge, I actually can't stand my mother's company... Or my dad's for that matter. I never could, but... I just need to get out of here.
"You're coming to Merry Hill with me tomorrow during the day." ... Fine. But as long as I still have time to go to the Citizens Advice Bureau to ask them what I can do in my position. I can't stay at home - it's driving me to insanity. It's driving me back to unhelpful thoughts, dangerous thoughts. I don't feel welcome, respected or loved. I don't feel I belong here, and I'm treated like shit. Constantly.
I know in my heart of hearts (Elundari?) I'm loved by my family, even if they have a weird way of showing it...
Somebody, get me out of here. Somebody, help, before I actually go round the bend and hurt myself...

On the plus side, I received two letters + a package today. Handwritten letter from Miste, which was short and uneventful, but still nice to get :), and the other was from Kylie, which was lovely to get. She also sent me two stuffed toys; a kangeroo and koala holding boomerangs. They're so cuddly! But not quite as cuddly as Chesh, which Jen made. Kitty loves them though. Will be posting it out tomorrow with the eBay stuff...

You know, my dysphoria isn't taken seriously by just about anyone. Nobody really understands just how much it gets to me. It's so bad today ... It really is.

Mum calls. -_-'


FML