Sappy post

You ask why I always listen to this song. You ask why it's looped. You ask why I smile when I listen to it.
You think i'm obsessed with it, you can't understand why...

Because whenever I listen to it, I think of Tink. I get a memory in my head, so clear, so perfect.
After I first went over to her mum's house, after we spent the day together, a day so perfect...
She drove me home. She put on Tori Amos - Lovesong. And she asked me to listen to the lyrics.

She placed a hand on my leg, and smiled at me. She drive down the motorway, holding my hand with her free hand, singing her heart out for me. The line "you make me feel like I am young again", and I remember the smile she gave me, love and humour in her eyes.
The long "I will always love you", I remember her voice, so full of love, so full of pain. Her singing over the music.

The song fits so perfectly for how I feel. We have so many little injokes now. We're getting used to our relationship, we're working our way through any troubles that we face. But if I'm suicidal, if I'm hurting, I can put on this song and let me forget my troubles for 3 and a half minutes. I can remember a time when I felt true, perfect, complete happiness and contentness. I'm honestly in love with her, and I can't imagine life without her by my side. I know that how much I'm struggling is hurting her and worrying her, but I know I'll pull through because I have something to fight for, and she is so worth it.
When I'm with her, the depression is kind of pushed back until she's gone, it's automatic, so the bad thoughts at mostly at bay. When I'm away from her, I have some true alone alone time to work through my thoughts... The more I think, and the more time I spend with Tink, the more I can see the future. I can plan. The self destructive thoughts are still there but they're not so clear, I'm starting to think past them now. I don't think I'm a threat to myself anymore.
I have so much to live for, so much to love for.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1JIEY34hv8

Hey, yes…
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel a-like I’m home again, oh, yes
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make, you make me feel like I’m whole again, oh, yes
Hey…

Whenever I'm alone with you, uh-huh-es
You make me feel like I’m young again, hey ya-yes
Whenever I'm alone with you, uh-hum
You make me feel like I am fun again

However far away, I will always love you
However long I stay, I will always love you
Whatever words I say, you know I’ll always love you
Oh, I will always love you

Ah, whenever I'm alone with you, hey
I feel like I’m a-a-a-I’m free again, hey
Whenever I'm alone with you, um
Feel like I’m a-aclean again, oh

However far away, I will always love you
However long I stay, oh, I will always love you
Whatever words I say, you know I’ll always love you
I will always, always love you, yes
Always…